Today I bring you food, of course, and a first ever on WannaBe Chef: fashion! I ordered some dresses from Chadwick’s since I have a lot of wedding events to attend in the next couple months. Well, they came today and I decided to share them with you since my food has been less than stellar. First things first, though…
Breakfast was NOT an oatmeal pancake! I had an almost-empty jar of PB and decided to make a quick batch of oats in a jar. I wasn’t that hungry this morning, so in the jar was simply: 1/3 cup oat bran, 1/2 cup water, cinnamon, Splenda, and a pinch of salt… all zapped in the microwave for a minute or so.
After taking Wayne to the airport (AGAIN), I had lunch: Morningstar Black Bean Burger on a Flat out wrap with BBQ sauce and romaine; delicious watermelon on the side.
Dinner was another microwave delight. I made a turkey tenderloin last night, so I had the leftover turkey with BBQ, cooked carrots and some raw sugar snap peas.
Ok, now that’s out of the way. Here we go with pics of me… in clothes… eeekk. First up was the green, “slimming” dress and the inspiration for the title of this post.
Looks harmless enough, right? What you don’t see is the tight, hot Spanks-like girdle thingy that was built into the dress from the waist to the knees. See that criss-cross waistband? Well it was SO tight, small, and unforgiving, that when I went to take the dress off, IT GOT STUCK. The stupid zipper in the back did NOT go all the way down through the waist, so there was absolutely no wiggle room. I couldn’t get the dress over my hips OR up and over my ribs/boobs! There I was, fuh-reaking out thinking OMG, I’m stuck in this dress for the next 3 days because Wayne was already gone and couldn’t help. The worst part is that I really hurt my right shoulder/upper back trying to get it off, so much that my right arm/hand started tingling and going numb later on! Yes, I finally got it off after like 10 minutes and a lot of “stretching.”
On to the next… a knit black dress. It goes just over the knee. Cute but very lightweight and casual, kind of nightgown-ish actually. Not sure if I’m keeping it yet, but at least I didn’t dislocate any body parts getting in and out of it.
Next up was another black number. This one was more formal, flowy and structured, but it doesn’t really come across in the pics though. Cute, love the neckline, but it was doing some funky things around the boobs and the darts didn’t quite lay right. This one’s a “maybe” too, but I don’t really want/need two black dresses..
Last dress was the cutest one of them all. One problem, though, I couldn’t get it over my head. Once again, there was no zipper in the back, just a tiny like 4″ zipper under the left arm. What the hell good does that do?? And after the green dress nightmare, I was not about to force this one on. 😦
Lastly was a random tank top I ordered at the last minute. Despite the intense wrinkles, I thought it was cute and plan to wear it with a thin tank underneath, as the fabric is quite thin and breezy.
Well, that’s all for this edition of Food and Fashion! I hope you don’t think I’m too conceited for putting pics of myself on here! It feels a little odd doing it, and I probably won’t be doing it very often. Let me know whatcha think. Tata for now!